Updated: Sep 17, 2019
Stress has been regarded as such a dirty word for decades. Being busy is praised in many work environments, admired even. Stress? Stress was not cool Kahu, so not cool!
Truth is we really need to get over that. Pronto!
I evaded the word stress like the plague!! I did not believe I was ever stressed. Which, if you asked my circle of influence, they would say the same. If you asked my musculoskeletal therapist and healer, he would tell you that my body was full of stress. After he highlighted this, I could really see just how my body dealt with stress.
It didn't! It would sweep it under the carpet hoping for it to never be found again. Well, marco polo! You got found and now we will never be hiding from each other again. Besides, I do not want to experience the paralysing feelings I had down my neck, shoulders and arms at random, ever again!
Stress when left unchecked wreaks havoc on the body. I get this now, and I am sharing with you my story so that you can get it too.
Don't be stubborn like me waiting until your body smacks you upside the head before you accept that you have stress in the body.
What is stress?
Stress is caused through deficiency, toxicity or a combination of both. We could be deficient of vital life expressing nutrients or emotional connection. We could also be exposed to toxic chemicals, foods or toxic energy and environment. We can often push aside all the small instances of stress thinking that they are insignificant.
In reality it is these small stressors experienced over time and space that become the large uncontrollable snow ball that comes crashing down on us before we are able to read the signs.
Often times we wear our stress like a badge of honour. We work late on projects just so we are seen to be working hard. We often attract more drama in our lives, whether that is business or personal, as it makes us feel important. It even makes us feel like we were the chosen strong to deal with it.
I am here to say: "It does not have to be this way!"
Let's not be that guy!
Let's AR-REST your stress today.
This is one of the most important steps to take when feeling stuck, backed into a corner, overwhelmed by all the stresses of the world.
We waste far too much energy on blaming others and believing that our circumstances are completely out of our control. Yeah, I know, hard pill to swallow.
To accept responsibility for being in this stressed state is humbling. The ego won't like it. And that is all ok.
To accept responsibility is to look inwards for solutions not outwards for blame. The answers won't always come quickly, and that's ok too.
To accept responsibility is to stand in your power, own your shit, and use your own inner compass to guide you.
Flipping the script from "This made me ____" and "That made me ____" to " I CHOOSE TO BE/DO/HAVE ___" has helped many of my clients feel good about themselves.
Reduce Unrealistic Expectations
"Expectations is the root of all heartache" ~ William Shakespeare
I am guilty of having unrealistic expectations and then silently poisoning myself with disappointment because my reality did not live up to those expectations.
This is not a plea to have no expectations at all. It is a reminder to keep your expectations in check by asking yourself "Am I being real right now?", "Is what I am currently doing serving my soul or my ego?"
Tune into your body when you ask those questions. Does it feel light or heavy?
Get good at saying "No" and even better at letting go of something that is incomplete.
Also, remembering that "Comparison is the thief of joy" your expectations should only ever come from self.
A great exercise to do here is to write down everything you are working on and identify what expectations you have attached to them. Then looking at your list through honest eyes start crossing out the ones that do not serve your highest self.
What can you let go of today?
"We are only what we eat if we can absorb it" ~ Coach Kahu
Whether the food we eat is healthy or not it means nothing if our pancreas is unable to neutralise the food "goo" (yes, my very technical term) as it leaves the stomach for the small intestines.
Also, if our gut has been compromised (Intestinal permeability) from the before mentioned, foreign food particles can slip through the walls and straight into the bloodstream causing an immune response. This can lead to an array of issues down the line (more on this in another blog)
There are ways to test for food sensitivities, contact me if you feel this is something for you right now. This should not stop you from fully connecting to your body and your food though. You can adopt these simple habits today:
Surround yourself with colourful fresh plant foods.
Use all of your senses: Visualise, Touch, Smell, Look, Listen, Taste.
Eat plants, lots of them, and often.
Chew your food more than you think is necessary.
Eat with your hands, where possible.
Appreciate each meal.
Human beings are social beings and physical and mental/emotional connection in some shape or form is up there with oxygen. Connect with friends and family who fill your cup.
Meet new people
Do fun activities, for fun! haha not stressful competition. No attachments to winning or being the best.
Be open to receiving new relationships
Having worked with people of all ages, I will say that connection through touch is crazy important. Whether this is through play, rough brother bear type play, hugs, intimacy, connecting skin to nature (grounding), skin to skin, these touch types mean different things to different people at different times.
Which touch type is important for you today?
Before moving on to our last point I will say this:
"Connection with others is beneficial for sure, though, masking stress by being busy with others is not." ~ Coach Kahu
Time to Self
Having time to self is not about being BY yourself, it is about being able to be WITH yourself whether you are alone or not.
"What do you do when with yourself?" I hear you ask?
NO "working on self"...
Try that out for size and let me know how you go with that.
Other things you can experience with self are:
Sleeping alone. Even when in relationships it is healthy for us to spend some sleep time on our own.
Soak in a Bath or in the sun
Witness the sun rise and set
Key here is not to get caught up in the doing but to get totally lost in the being.
So, are you ready to arrest your stress and turn it into rest?
Want a safe supportive container to share your feels?
Join me here in my closed Facebook group
Much love and vitality,